Donny’s Ramblings: Diary of a Former Porn Producer

If you’d like to read about what’s happened in my life since I left the world of porn production and surrendered my life to God, feel free to read through these archived posts.

This is a list of all of the blog entries I’ve written, starting with the first blog entry where I go public with my decision to surrender my life to God. These are the “chapters” of my blog, so to speak, listed in the order in which I wrote them. If you want the full story, click on link #1 and just continue through each blog entry.

1. I’m Out, But the Blog Abides!: This is the blog entry where I let all of my readers know that I surrendered my life to God. Before surrendering to God I used to write about my experiences in the porn business. A lot of people still come here expecting to read my experiences in producing porn.
2. Almost 1 Week: Written not quite a week after “the surrender.”
3. The Issue of Links Staying “As Is”. And Church Tonight.: Why I decided not to delete the things I’ve written in the past, and my thoughts on church after resuming attendance.
4. The Job Hunt: Self explanatory.
5. $72k Per Year: The first job offer. God begins “Faith Building.”
6. On My Way to Seattle: Going to Seattle to check out the job offer.
7. Phone Call This Morning: A model calls in tears after her photos are found online by family members and her employer. I’m so glad to be out of the porn business.
8. Back Home. Decisions Must Be Made.: I ramble about having to make certain decisions.
9. I May Sound a Bit “Kooky” After This: I attempt to share some of the weird things I’ve been experiencing, as well as sharing some of the “persecutions” I’ve been going through.
10. Fuel! Further ignite my fire, please!: Why the attacks from others have actually been strengthening me spiritually.
11. Dear Pastor Tom: I explain to a Pastor why it is necessary for XXXChurch to come inside the porn conventions to reach porn-stars and producers like me. I also talk about some of the bad feelings people have towards Christians.
12. A Sampling of Email Feedback I’ve Received: Some of the emails I’ve received that have provided for a lot of encouragement.
13. Controversial Already? Sorry, I Have to Do It.: Thoughts on why I feel the church has really screwed up when dealing with homosexuals.
14. There’s More to It Than Meets the Eye: God’s been communicating with me. No, really… he has! I talk a bit about that here.
15. Status of the Websites, A Quick Note About Money, and the Importance of Email: Clarification on the status of porn websites I used to own. I also write about money issues and how much I love receiving email feedback.
16. Me. You. Zack.: I ask readers for music recommendations.
17. More of the Back Story, and Why I’m a Little Confused at the Moment: More detail on my story. I also write about some issues that have arisen that don’t quite fit into the picture I had in mind.
18. Google Invades Donny’s Ramblings!: Advertising is added to the blog.
19. The Drew Marshall Show: I’m interviewed by a Christian talk radio program in Canada.
20. My Son - Between Ages 1 and 2: A cute photo of my son.
21. I Think of This Photo While in Church: This is probably my favorite blog entry so far. This photo of my son illustrates my attitude towards Jesus.
22. Flickr - My New Friend: I start using my Flickr account to post photos for use on the blog.
23. Book Suggestions, Anyone?: My post asking for Music suggestions resulted in several good recommendations. With that in mind, I ask for book suggestions.
24. A Requested Clarification: Playboy wanted me to publish a clarification on hardcore porn production. This is actually a rather amusing blog entry.
25. Dear T.N. from Texas: A man in Texas took the time to write a 7 page letter to me that was very helpful.
26. The Bee Lie Bee Lie Eee: Thoughts on reading the Bible.
27. On Bosses and Pastors: More about jobs that have been offered to me, giving up “possessions”, and the advice given by local Pastors.
28. New Revelations from Old Knowledge: Things that meant nothing before are beginning to make sense. And more of how blogging and feedback helps.
29. The Radio Interview With Drew Marshall: The radio interview I had with the Drew Marshall Show is now available to download.
30. An Amusing Lesson about Being Specific: Praying specifically, a fishing story.
31. What I’ve Learned About God From Watching Christians - Part 1: Parroting: Annoying things Christians say, yet don’t totally comprehend.
32. Halloween 2006: The reasons I celebrate Halloween.
33. John Hunt: My Best Friend: John Hunt is my best friend. He’s searching for a reason to believe in God
34. I Haven’t Been a Good Example to Belinda: Belinda thinks I’ve gone insane, leaving our old life for God. I regret not being a better example to her.
35. The First Day Answering to a Bossman: The first day of work sucked. Read about it here.
36. The Second Day: The second day was a bit better, although I did get into a bit of an argument with a fellow employee.
37. On Politics and Abortion: The reason I think it’s ridiculous to vote Republican simply because of the abortion issue.
38. Ted Haggard and the Christian Response: Christians respond to other Christians’ screw ups with love, yet tell sinners they’re on the fast track to hell. What’s up with that?
39. So What’s the New Job, Donny?: I talk about my new job.
40. Being Judgmental to Those Who Are Judgmental (And Election Results): I’m cautioned not to be too judgmental towards the judgmental.
41. The Last 10 Years (Superman) - by Kenny Rogers: Belinda is on her way to a Playboy Mansion party, and I’m at home listening to Kenny Rogers.
42. XXXChurch and the Esther Fund: XXXChurch.com puts their money where their mouth is, by teaming up with former porn star Shelley Lubben on a project to financially assist those who leave porn for God.
43. Heavy Hearted on a Sunday Morning: I pour my heart out in this blog entry.
44. My House is For Sale: Photos of my house, and an interesting letter in the mail.
45. Selfish Motivation, Perhaps?: My thoughts on why some people beat others up with the Bible.
46. I Really Like Luke: As a Gentile writing for other Gentiles, Dr. Luke takes a factual approach when writing. I appreciate that. And I think he challenges us to share our own experiences.
47. Porn Stories: The Prelude: I want to take the mystery out of porn, but where do I start? And how explicit should I get?
48. My Father’s Eyes Light Up When I Enter the Room: A quote from a Nobel Prize winning author inspired this blog entry.
49. Porn Stories: A Crying Model Just Left My House: The 1st entry in my “Porn Stories” series is about a model who feels her life has become a living hell due to posing for me.
50. Porn and Pancakes: An event presented by XXXChurch.com, and I’ll be one of the speakers.
51. Month 2 Ends: How’s Donny Doing?: The 2nd “anniversary” of my surrender. It seems like much longer.
52. Clearing My Head: Brief Updates : Updates on my new job and the upcoming “Porn and Pancakes” event.
53. And So It Begins: The Repossession of “possessions” has begun.
54. My Cell Phone Number Can’t Be Changed: A blog entry I wrote to my son.
55. In War You Shoot The Enemy, Not The Hostage: A fancy saying for “Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin”.
56. Thank You: I was humbled by your generosity. You know who you are.
57. Dear J.R. and Craig: Back from cold, snowy Grand Rapids, I tease JR and Craig.
58. All Geeked Up: My trip to Grand Rapids, Michigan, where I spoke in front of a couple thousand people.
59. Fasting: Starting a 20 day fast, then cheating after 4 days.
60. More Porn and More Pancakes: Photo and Video highlights from my trip to Grand Rapids.
61. These Colors Don’t Run (the world)…: Why are Americans, and American Churches, so selfish?
62. Spare the rod. Spoil the child.: More thoughts on parenting, on the eve of my son’s 7th birthday.
63. Heartache and Negativity: More on losing 6 years with Belinda.
64. Shelley Luben Site Redesign: Former porn star turned porn fighter, Shelley Luben, redesigns her site and adds new features.
65. Caden Friday: Photos of Caden
66. Caden Friday Part II: Grandpa and Caden
67. My Birthday and Comment Moderation Enabled: Self explanatory.
68. Meltdown: Crash and Burn: I screwed up big time.
69. Church Can Change One’s Frame of Mind: After a day spent feeling sorry for myself, my spirits are lifted by attending church.
70. On Beagles, Pain, Ego and Business: This is a good read, in my opinion. I address a few issues and discuss my new business.
71. The God Den: It’s funny how words can change a person’s outlook. Thanks, Kris Vallotton.
72. Birds Flying High, You Know How I Feel: I’m really loving life right now. This is another general update.
73. Sex, Arrogance and a Depraved Mind: An in-your-face story about a sex game that trashed my ego and ruined a great relationship.
74. Jen from Oklahoma: A thank you to those who send books to me.
75. Letter Writing: Another form of therapy I’ve discovered.
76. 248.5 and a Walking Trail: I’ve finally broken through a weight loss goal, in part with the help of my favorite walking trail.
77. The 19 Year Old Girl: Sticking up for Belinda by taking responsibility.
78. Dear Mark: A heartfelt letter to the other man.
79. Closure: Sometimes it’s just time to move on.
80. Counseling, Every Man’s Battle, and About the Ex…: 3 parts: I’m going to counseling appointments, share a bit about “Every Man’s Battle” where I recently spoke, and then share some thoughts on my ex-wife.
81. Don’t you wanna take your old myspace down??? Ewww…: Wendy reminds me that it’s really time to let the old Donovan Phillips myspace page die.
82. Let Her Speak for Herself: A letter from one of my former models.
83. What a Perfect Day: It doesn’t get much better than this…
84. People Are Starting To Notice: Weight loss!
85. XXXChurch and the Realities of Porn: XXXChurch releases their new design for their website and asks me to be one of their bloggers.
86. XXXChurch on Nightline: Watch a 10 minute segment Nightline did about XXXChurch
87. Nathan and Donny at The Stirring: A local pastor has me share my story with his church. Listen to the audio.
88. Size 36 Pants. XL Shirt.: More about weight loss! Also mentioned is a preview of a Porn and Pancakes event which will be filmed by the Today Show.
89. Porn and Pancakes: Ontario, New York - February 10th, 2007: The “Porn and Pancakes” event in Ontario, New York went really well.
90. What An Honor: I’ve been invited to go to Afghanistan with the xxxchurch.com crew to speak to the troops!
91. Answers to Prayers: God answered a few prayers of mine. I share how he did so.
92. I Stole Some Pics: Some new photos of Wendy and Caden
93. Another Goal Reached: I drop below 240lbs for the first time in a very long time.
94. The Soap Opera: Drama about Belinda. Written mostly for myself so that I can remember how I felt and when I felt it.
95. In Sacramento This Weekend: Speaking at Capital Christian Center in Sacramento
96. A Request From a Reader: An email request from a reader, and my response.
97. My Brother Daniel: I was given the honor of leading my brother to Jesus. He’s still battling alcoholism. Say a prayer for him, please.
98. A Week With My Brother: It was really great spending a week with my brother. This goes hand in hand with the last blog entry.
99. A Face To Melt For: My son, of whom I am SO proud…
100. Hiatus: I’m taking a temporary hiatus from personal blogging.
101. 4-0 Baby!: A weight loss milestone is reached.
102. Who Am I Kidding?: I don’t think I’ll be able to stop blogging.
103. Being Single
104. Anderson Cooper, I’m Ready
105. I’m Wearing It Anyway
106. Anderson Cooper 360º Air Date
107. Would You Take Fashion Advice From a Guy Who Wore This Watch?
108. To Daphne
109. Statistics On Visitors I Receive To This Blog
110. So Donald Miller Emailed Me
111. No More God Stuff:  I’m Going Back to Producing Porn
112. Anderson Cooper 360º This Week
113. Cut Like A Second String Linebacker
114. Emotional Roller Coaster, a Healed Ear, and a 45lbs Lighter Donny
115. I Really Have to Thank My Readers